We live in a world full of self-help material flaunting the belief that positive thinking, affirmations and vision boards are the keys to success.
You’ve seen it yourself; the ‘learn how I won the lottery’ videos featuring that middle-aged psychopath who won $2,000 simply by positive thinking & imagining that she’d win the lottery.
In this world, it’s so easy to get caught up in the many misconceptions about success and happiness in life.
No amount of positive thinking, vision boards or affirmations will make money appear out of thin air and snuggle up in your back pocket.
Consider this blog post as the ‘no bullshit guide to success’.
As I mentioned in my first blog post, I’ve been studying personal development & success material for quite a while. In doing so, I’ve learned a few things. I’m not claiming to know it all, far from it. My intention in this three part blog post will be to show you how to make the changes to yourself & your lifestyle which will transform your mentality and the results you are getting in your life.
These straight-to-the-point, no bullshit techniques have been constantly mentioned in the best personal development material out there. They’ve been used by millions who have turned their lives around. All of the authors of this material often talk about ‘waking up’ and beginning what seemed to be an almost entirely new life – I can relate.
I’m not content with sitting behind my computer blurting out about how you should do this, this and this without actually speaking from experience in my own life. I like to keep it real in my blog, so I won’t lay all these ideas on the table without letting you know how they have affected me.
Looking back, the vast majority of my own life I was living totally unconsciously. I was living by whatever my parents said, whatever the TV said, whatever my teachers said, whatever society said, and so on. I wasn’t thinking for myself whatsoever.
I had a constant low-level anxiety, was constantly doubting myself, being frustrated and always putting more emphasis on whether or not people would judge or laugh at me for doing something than actually doing the thing.
This is often categorised as a ‘square guy’ – someone who’s stuck in a square, unable to think for themself.
Once I started getting into personal development and success psychology however, my entire life began to change.
I realised that nobody really gives a shit what you’re doing. Everybody puts their own best interests first – they only place judgements upon you because it boosts their ego, their emotions, their sense of importance and so on. If you want something, it’s on you to actually make the changes to yourself and your mentality. That’s the key – you have to change your mentality.
The first part of this blog series will be simply about that – changing your mentality. That’s the first step. Before you take action, before you set any goal in life, you must realise what is possible and place responsibility on yourself.
You have to be open minded. You have to realise that the majority of what you have been told your entire life is false. Once you do this, you’ll be willing to actually listen to the ideas presented by people who are successful without rejecting their ideas completely because they don’t coincide with your own view of reality.
This is why the majority of people don’t become successful. They would rather stay in their comfort zone. They would rather cling on to their old belief systems for dear life, constantly defending the divine ‘truth’ of what social conditioning has planted in their minds.
Fact is, you’re either going to grow a set of balls (ladyballs for my female readers) and take action, or you’re going to do nothing and rationalise.
Don’t take the victim mentality in life. As I mentioned in my last blog, you must detach yourself from who you think you are and take a step back. Look at yourself from a detached viewpoint, are there changes you’d like to make? How do you think the person you would like to become would act?
If you find yourself taking the victim mentality in life, constantly complaining of how ‘I’m a lost cause’, ‘It’s just who I am’, ‘I’m not able to do that’ etc. recognise this as a sign that deep down you don’t want to be successful, you’d prefer to resist change and be attached to your excuses rather than actually doing it and taking action.
The reason most people don’t actually make the changes necessary is that they don’t want to face up to the fact they’ve been fucking up most of/all of their lives. In some way, they’re afraid of the death of the person they used to be. They’d rather latch onto their excuses than change their interpretation of themselves & the world.
They blame their circumstances. They blame the lack of opportunities. They blame the government. They blame their parents. They blame their job. They blame the economy.
Circumstances mean nothing. You get to where you want to be in life by developing yourself; bringing your character and your mentality to new levels.
Know that your interpretation of yourself and the world around you is what controls your behavior. Everything you believe about life and about yourself has been conditioned into your subconscious mind, and therefore completely dictates your behavior.
If you’ve been told in school that you’re a below-average student, then chances are you’ll behave as an average person would behave your entire life. School told you only smart people earn the big money; only people with degrees earn 6-figure salaries.
With these beliefs in your subconscious mind, you’ll always act in accordance with that reality of the world. As mentioned in my last blog, you can change your mentality and your perception of reality in order to achieve anything in life.
To do this, you have to realise the power of your mind.
Listen to this clip from Earl Nightingale about the power of your mind, I promise it will change your life forever:
If you listened correctly, you heard him talk about conformity. The reason most people don’t accomplish anything in life is that they conform. They do what everyone else is doing, they believe what everyone else believes, they think like everyone else thinks.
We now live in an era in which the Internet has hit its prime. Although the benefits are endless, perhaps the biggest negative is the amount of conformity which has become a central part of society. We seem to be operating under one mass consciousness. Constantly being informed of what everyone else is thinking and doing, our thoughts and actions are largely carved by words & images on a screen.
This is why uniqueness is so rare in modern times. With social media, anything we put out into the world is immediately judged and labelled by others. We receive either sharp criticism or glowing praise from those who see our ideas. Therefore, we keep whatever is unique hidden within, afraid to express it to the world because we are so concerned about how others will react to us; what they will think of us.
It sounds harsh, but we must ignore what everyone else is saying about us. To produce something in your life and achieve something true to you – you cannot be enslaved by the opinions of others.
Don’t go with what everyone else does. It takes courage to step outside of the matrix and actually do what you truly want to do. Nobody will understand you or what you’re doing; you’ll probably be seen as ‘crazy’. But it will all be worth it. I can’t imagine anything worse than lying on my deathbed, a frail old man – respected in my community as a ‘decent man who lived an honest life’, but deeply burdened by neglecting the deep down desire to follow my heart.
Fuck your comfort zone. Fuck social conditioning. Fuck what everyone else tells you is best for you.
Follow your heart and ignore the limitations. You can create your own reality.
Realise that your past has no bearing on your future. Realise that the opinion of others has no bearing on you, ever. Realise that whatever you want in life is there for the taking, you just have to grow a set of balls (ladyballs) and step outside the matrix.
I hope I’ve touched a nerve somewhere within you; hopefully something’s clicked. If you don’t believe what I’m saying here, research it for yourself. Watch the YouTube video I provided until something clicks in your head.
The thing I dislike about most material which covers this topic is that they usually leave it at this point. They usually deliver a rallying call, they plant the desire of achievement within you, but nothing comes next.
That’s not what I’m doing here. As I’ve mentioned, this is the first of a three-part blog series.
I’ll be delivering various methods/exercises to help you throughout the series. As we’re just starting, I won’t ask you to take on new habits or do anything challenging yet – here’s all I want you to do until Part 2:
Think about this concept for a day. Understand everything I’m saying here. Re-watch the video. Implant the desire within yourself to step out of your comfort zone and to live a life full of abundance, purpose and never-ending opportunities & possibilities.
Ponder what you want from life for a day. Set no limitations and don’t even consider for a second what others would think. Don’t be ‘realistic’. Don’t think in terms of what you think you ‘could do’. Think in terms of what you really want from life, and I’ll show you how to get it in tomorrow’s blog.
I’ll leave you with this excerpt from Robert Greene’s book ‘Mastery’:
‘If we don’t try too much in life, if we limit our circle of action, we can give ourselves the illusion of control. The less we attempt, the less chance of failure. If we can make it look like we are not really responsible for our fate, for what happens to us in life, then our apparent powerlessness is more palatable.’
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